P. 266-267

In this passage, Wright comes to realize that his view of the world has been tainted by his Southern experiences, so much that this is the only world he truly knows. He also understands why other blacks respond to racism in the ways that they do; it is because "his [blacks] total life was conditioned by their [whites] attitude." He also explain that by loading "the empty part of the ship of my personality with fantasies of ambition to keep it from toppling over into the sea of senselessness," he was able to avoid the self-defeating and self-hating mindsets of others. (Wonderful metaphor!) But, he also notes, that he sometimes despised his very own mind because "I [Wright] would hate myself for allowing my mind to dwell upon the unattainable." This signifies that he still feels trapped; no matter what he is able to do to free himself of oppression, it results in despising something about himself. This could be viewed as almost sympathizing to the emotions of the "black man [that] grew in turn to hate himself that which others hated in him", who Wright explains is a person who also tries to hide this self-hate, which leads to "a war with himself", consequently limiting many possibilities for either personal progress or resistance to racism.